Wedding Planning 101: What I Learned From Planning My Own Wedding

July 9, 2022 was the best day ever for Michael and me. It took us about two years to plan which was more than enough time. I had a lot of fun planning, but also had many stressful and overwhelming moments. However, there wasn’t a single thing that went wrong that day, it was pure magic! So, I compiled all my thoughts, tips and advice into one spot in hopes of helping other future brides make their planning process a little smoother. I literally wrote this the day after my wedding while it was all fresh in my mind. So buckle up there is a lot of info! If you have any questions, feel free to leave a comment!

Note: This is all from my own personal experience of planning a wedding for 150 guests in Southern California. Everyone is going to have a different experience based on their wants and needs.

The Big Ticket Items:

Finalize your budget. This looks different for everyone. Prepare for the budget to fluctuate, it helps to leave some wiggle room for the unexpected.

Location location location. Do you want everyone to be able to come? Choose a local and easy to get to spot. Do you want to keep it small and intimate? A destination might be more fun!

Time Frame/Date. Have a general time frame in mind for the date. I would suggest giving about a year to a year and a half for planning if you can. More than that might be too much time. We took about 2 years and if you’re like me, you’ll start second guessing all the decisions you made the first year. And your style/taste can change a lot based on trends!

Prioritize. Think about what you really want for your wedding, what are your non negotiables? Ours was venue/location, entertainment/music, and photography. We set aside bigger budgets for those three because we felt that those were the most important aspects of the wedding.

Research Vendors. Take your time to chat with at least 3-5 different vendors for each service. Read reviews on multiple websites. I scoured Google, The Knot, Wedding Wire, and Yelp. In addition, I looked at all their social media pages to get a good vibe of their style. I also used Instagram explore page and hashtags to find more vendors. Make sure you vibe with the vendors really well, they will be with you for most of the day (especially the planner, photographer, and videographer). The best vendors will be booked out at least 1 year in advance so don’t slack on this part.

The vendors:

Venue. A venue that provides tables, chairs, cutlery, linens, etc. is KEY! If they don’t have this, then you are responsible for renting all of this and it can be another big chunk of your budget. Same goes for food, if you can get a venue that already has a restaurant or chef on site, then it will be much easier to plan food. However, catering companies are extremely popular and there are great ones out there. Other things you want to know for your venue: Is there a minimum purchase requirement? How many people can they accommodate? Do they provide security? Is it easy to get to? Is there an indoor/outdoor option depending on how they weather turns out?

Planner/Coordinator. I suggest hiring a personal planner or coordinator. The venue may have one already, but their main concern is the venue. Hiring someone for you helps with all the other millions of details. They will help connect all your vendors, make sure everyone is on the same page, organize the whole bridal party, and be there to tie up any loose ends on the day of. Extra help is always worth your time and money!

Music/Entertainment. Try to see these vendors live in action to really get a feel for their music. Recommendations from other vendors and bride and grooms helps a lot when hiring the right entertainment. We were fortunate to have a very talented DJ who we had worked with previously. He was very skilled and had tons of experience at weddings. Unfortunately, he got sick the day before our wedding. But he was able to call in a friend to save the day and the dj we ended up getting was phenomenal as well. Speaks volumes of them both!

Florist. The florist was one of the harder vendors to find for us. I talked to many florists for weeks and so many of them were already booked up! My biggest advice for the florist is to give them a lot of creative freedom. After all, they are some of the most creative people! I gave our florist a general color scheme and style I wanted and she put her own personal spin on it. It also helps for the florist to have some freedom because their inventory changes based on what’s in season or what flowers are looking the most fresh that day.

Photo & Video. These vendors will be with you the most during the day so make sure you love them! They are there from start to finish capturing every intimate moment. Interview as many as you can and talk to them over the phone or meet in person to get a feel for their personality. Look at their social media profiles to see what their work looks like online, because this is where most of your photos will be viewed. Most social feeds give a good glimpse of the style of photo or video they do. We wanted light, bright, and colorful photos and our photographer’s Instagram showed exactly that! Don’t forget to make room in your budget for purchasing printed photos or albums after the wedding, they are expensive.

Beauty. Don’t skimp on hair and makeup. Hire someone really good with lots of experience. You want to look as snatched as you ever have in your life! If you have bridesmaids/groomsmen needing beauty services you want someone who can work with all different types of hair and skin. Do a trial run for both at least 8-10 weeks before the wedding day. If it doesn’t go perfectly, try to book another trial just to be sure you get exactly what you want. I was given the advice to keep your hair and makeup true to you, like an elevated version of your everyday look. I am really glad I followed this advice. Lastly, if you care about facials, spray tans, waxes, teeth whitening, etc. start working on these at least 6 months in advance. It takes time to get everything in good shape and helps avoid bad reactions leading up to the big day.

The Dress:

If you are choosing a made to order dress, tart trying on samples about 9-12 months in advance. They can take a long time to be ordered. Try on a bunch of dresses at different places, even if you love the first one you try on. Your style might change over the next year so think long and hard! Make sure the dress is comfortable and true to you. You will be wearing it all night so make sure it is easy to walk in and dance in. Or have a second dress for dancing that is more comfortable! Who doesn’t love multiple dresses? I wish I had done that! Don’t be afraid to try on different styles. You might think you want strapless until you start trying them and they don’t feel comfortable, and that’s totally ok! Just have an open mind. Lastly, look around online and in person for used dresses, I did this and was able to save a lot of money.

The Guest List:

Start writing out every single person you want to invite. Guest lists can grow really easily and quickly. I’d suggest you prepare to invite a little more than you anticipated, because you’ll likely forget about a plus one or distant cousin until you write down all the names and count them all! But be strict if you want a smaller guest count, and don’t be afraid to say no to your parents if they want to invite their business client you have never met. Keep in mind that usually 20-25% of guests won’t be able to come and some will cancel at the last minute. A guest count of over 100 people makes it harder to see everyone and catch up, so a larger rehearsal dinner helps with this a lot which is what we did!

Details & Decor:

Try not to worry too much about the details and decor. Pick one or two favorite colors and stick with them. Let the flowers or the scenery of the venue do the talking. Trends are great and fun, but you may not like them in a few years or even a few months. I suggest checking out Pinterest in the beginning for inspiration. Make one folder of the general vibe/theme you want, you can alter it as you go. Once you are about 5-6 months out, stop searching Pinterest because a new trend will be coming out and you might second guess everything you have already planned! A lot of vendors (florist, planner) have decor you can borrow. Our florist provided all the vases, candles, and stands and it was amazing! Lastly, unless you LOVE to DIY and are great at it, you might not want to start now. I quickly learned that it can take up a lot of time and I would’ve spent just as much money on supplies than if I hired someone to do it for me.

Misc:

Websites are a great source for all things timeline, RSVP, and registry links. Just remember, even if you make a website, people will still be texting you asking a million questions about things that they can find on it.

On the day of, give your phone to someone else so you don’t have to answer any random texts that may stress you out. Tell your friends to take as many pictures and videos as possible of all things behind the scenes. You will want these to look back on while waiting for the professional ones to arrive! We also had disposable cameras and they turned out really cute but they are expensive to develop.

Only have your closest and most easy going friends/family with you on the day of getting ready. This can help avoid any negativity, stress, or unnecessary drama.

Lastly, it’s not a must, but a venue close to an affordable hotel is really nice. A lot of out of town guests who have to fly in don’t want to spend a ton of money on hotels. It’s also easy for drunk people to walk to and lowers the risk of drunk driving.

With all that to say, it is important that you do what makes you and your partner the happiest. It is your day to share your love with all your closest people so make sure it is true to you as a couple. You can follow all or none of my advice, it is your day to do literally whatever you want!! Try not to overthink it and take it one day at a time. HAVE FUN and happy planning! 🙂

My vendor list: (San Diego area)

Venue- The Crossings at Carlsbad

Photo- Alyssa Boynton photography

Video- Blue Tiger Videography

Floral- Blooms Design House

Coordinator- Holly Kalkin Weddings

DJ- Pete Goslow (our original DJ) Collin Elliott (filled in for Pete and saved the day)

Lighting- Brilliant Event Lighting

Makeup- Lizzy Root

Hair- Jennifer San Martin @jennysanmartini

Dress- Winsome Brides

Tux- Men’s Warehouse